An Ode To Maybe
by moviebuff001
Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but his conscience is getting in the way. Set just before Syndicate is killed.
1. Chapter 1 to 5

Title: An Ode To Maybe

Author: Carla (moviebuff001)

Rating: Pg-13-Language, sexual content, violence

Category: The X-Files

Archiving: Sure, just tell me

Feedback: Who doesn't?

Spoilers: Most Alex Krycek episodes and some of the mythology.

Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but he has a little trouble completing the job…

Disclaimer: If I did own Alex Krycek, he'd still be alive. So, alas he belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. All quotes are from the Matthew Good Band.

Notes: Three things: 1) No matter how many times I watch the episodes, I don't think I will ever fully understand the X-Files mythology, so you'll have to use your "suspension of belief" and just go with the flow. 2) I once read this really good fanfic called "Crawling between Earth and Sky" and it's stuck in my head. So, some of the things in the story are kind of drawn from the story, I wasn't trying to copy or anything 3) I know Nick Lea is around the age of 40 but I made him a bit younger in this story for time lining. 

_Between the night and day lost in the law of averages_

Chapter 1

New York City

Sandra Ames threw her car keys at a nearby table, missing by at least a foot. Uncaring, her jacket dropped in a heap by the door, followed by her shoes and purse. She didn't bother turning on any lights, despite the fact that she ran into an end table and a couch. 

She was just about to enter her bedroom, when she felt a piece of cold metal against the nape of her neck. A strong arm quickly wrapped across her chest, pressing her into the body of the intruder.

"Don't say a word," the voice was a harsh unfamiliar whisper.

The thought of struggling never crossed her mind, she was frozen. 

"What do you want," much to her chagrin, her voice shook, as did her breath.

The intruder didn't move, he was so close to her that she could feel his breath against her bare neck. His breath was fast and hard, betraying whatever calmness, he was supposed to have. 

The gun that was now placed beside her temple, dropped quickly, only to be replaced in her back. Sandra could barely even feel the gun, the arm, though still holding her firm, relaxed slightly. 

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity before their silence was broken, "You can do this easily or hard, it's up to you," he told her gently nudging her forwards and releasing her out of his grasp. The gun was still at her back, though she wasn't sure whether it was going to be used or not.

Sandra walked slowly towards the door where he was leading her with his gun. She contemplated his voice when he had spoken, although she had never heard it before, she had a strange feeling about it. When he had spoken she knew he meant for his words to be harsh and menacing, but his tone betrayed him. She got this strange feeling that he was leading her to some kind of execution.

"Get your keys and your coat," he demanded, his tone steadier, "I'm being nice but don't think that'll deter me from shooting you," he warned.

Sandra kept her back to him as she picked her coat and keys off the floor. Her brain was going a hundred miles a minute trying to devise a plan to escape. 

She lived in an apartment on the third floor, her door was three doors down from the door to the stairs. She could run to her neighbours, though they would probably have no idea who she was, but hopefully, that would be enough to scare off this man.

The door opened, she had her chance and she took it. Running, she got the door, slamming it behind her, locking it with her key. She ran to her neighbours, the door to Sandra's apartment opened, her kidnapper appeared. 

It was the first time either had seen each other and for that eternal second they just stared at each other. Unknown to either why, they felt a strange bond something unlike what they had either felt before.

Even from the distance she could see his green eyes, which were swarmed with warring emotions. Hate, fear, sadness and guilt, all mixed together, attempting to hide behind his glare. 

That brief second was interrupted by him walking towards Sandra, she instantly reacted, banging on the door and yelling for help. The man was on her quickly, covering her mouth and pulling her behind a corner. She tried to struggle and make some noise but to no avail.

"If your neighbour gets in the way I will kill them, so you really want that?" His threat was hot in her ear.

Her neighbour opened the door, the old lady looked around, Sandra kept her mouth shut. Seeing no one, the old lady went back in her apartment.

Pushing her towards the stairs, they both ran down them to the parking garage and over to her car. 

"You drive." He dragged her over to the passenger side of the SUV, making her climb over the seat to the driver's side.

Sandra gripped the steering wheel, she stole a quick glance at her assailant. His jaw was clenched and he was scanning the lot constantly.

"Where are we going?" She was practically yelling she was so tense.

"Turn left up here and follow the road," he seemed to relax once they were in the night traffic.

She knew she had to keep calm but her voice was taking its own route, "Listen, you better tell me where you're taking me or-"

"Or what?" He motioned to the gun, "It doesn't matter anyways, you don't want to know where were going." There was a hint of guilt, or was it sadness, in his voice.

"At least tell me your name," Sandra said more calmly.

"It's Alex. Alex Krycek."

_My devil's on roller skates _

Chapter 2

The mood was solemn, no one dared to speak until the leader had arrived. Each person had only heard rumours about what this meeting was about and they could only fear the worst. 

James Haden scanned the room, he was by far the youngest. Most of the men and spent their entire lives here, searching for whatever their themed justice was that week. Although his twenty-three years of existence was deceiving, he wasn't new, he knew how things worked and he had enough experience to gain respect.

As he took his seat, he saw the nervous rustling of papers stop, the wringing of hands desist and he could see out of the corner of his eye the reason. Joseph Neller.

All eyes were locked on Neller as he took his seat. A large sigh escaped his lips as he prepared to address the group, then an almost smile graced his lips.

"She's been found and captured," breaths that had been held, were joyously released. "She should be dead within the hour." Neller assured the group.

Haden was unconvinced, "How do we know that this Alex Krycek can be trusted? Especially when every source we have says otherwise."

Neller turned to face the younger man, annoyance clear on his face, "Alex Krycek has wanted to join The Resistor's for quite some time, he will not betray us."

"Can you be sure of that, I sure I don't have to remind you of what could happen if the consortium gets a hold of her."

"Mr. Haden, you have every reason to be concerned but I assure you, we have several constituency plans in place if any thing were to go wrong," Neller turned his attention back to the rest of the group, "You will all be contacted when the assassination is confirmed. That is all, thank you." Neller stood up and swiftly walked out the room, leaving behind a group of men to talk enthusiastically about the next step in their plan.

_The secret's out, but it's too loud to think it_

Chapter 3

She could feel his hand pressing lightly into the small of her back, Sandra wasn't sure if it was just an ingrained form of chivalry or whether it was a form of control. When their eyes locked for a brief second, she tried to read his eyes. A wall, it was the only way to describe his eyes and him.

The smell of smoke was potent as they entered a large, dark office. The only light was coming from four small lamps in the corners of the rectangular room. A large, long oak wood table filled most of the room, with the exception of the back of the room. She was lead to a grey couch with a stark chair directly across from it. If she believed in that kind of stuff, she could swear that she felt an malevolence to the room.

"Ms. Ames, it is truly a pleasure to finally meet you," said a man holding a cigarette as he came in through a hidden doorway. He turned to Krycek, "Alex, it's so good to see you again. It's been such a long time since we truly worked together."

Krycek's only response was a hard, cold stare, his contempt as obvious as the lit cigarette dangling in the man's hand. 

The smoking man's tone changed to a less kinder version, "that will be all for now." He motioned for Krycek to leave.

Krycek walked straight up to the man, staring him down, "I found her, I got her here, I want to know why."

CSM smirked, slowly inhaling his cancer stick. "Very well."

Sandra finally found her voice, "Excuse me, but I think I have the right to know what's going on." Her voice was surprisingly strong, despite the shaking her hands.

"I have no desire to keep anything from you, my dear. Please, have a seat. I'll be right back."

Her stomach cringed at the sound of him calling her his 'dear', not to mention just about everything else about him.

Krycek took a quick look around before sitting down on the couch, he continued to watch her as she paced. Reluctantly, Sandra sat down beside him, if only to get him to look somewhere else. His eyes drifted away, settling her stomach a bit.

Sandra nervously played with her ring, wringing her hands, Krycek quickly put his hands over hers. Either it was an action to stop annoying him or to comfort her.

Krycek left his hand there for a long time, longer than he had intended, in actuality he hadn't even meant to touch her, it was just a reflex. That unnerved him, this whole situation unnerved him. He was getting a strange feeling about this girl. He was discovering emotions that he didn't think he contained anymore.

At the sound of the door opening, his hand jerked back. CSM re-entered, a disturbing grin on his face. 

As if she had found some form of inner strength, Sandra stood up, "If you don't tell me exactly what is going on, I'll break both your kneecaps and take that stupid grin off your face with my shoe."

Krycek placed his hand over his face in a weak attempt to cover his own grin.

His smile gone, CSM calmly took another drag off his cigarette, blowing the smoke in her face, she didn't even flinch.

He tried a different tactic, "Did you know Ms. Ames, that you were adopted?"

"Did you known that liars go to hell?" She mirrored his flat tone.

CSM, clearly not amused, forced a file folder into her hands.

Sandra opened it; pictures, birth documents, her parents signatures on adoption papers, strange medical tests. The pure weight of it all forced her back into her seat.

"Now then, " CSM took a step closer to them, still standing. "Are you ready for the truth?"

Had she not been so confused she might have laughed at his over-dramatic words. Her eyes passed over CSM but unconsciously stayed on Krycek.

CSM began, "More than 25 years ago an idea was conceived, to make an alien-human hybrid. You, my dear, were the result."

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She'd been kidnapped by a bunch of lunatics. She relaxed a little, the contents of the file she'd just seen, must have been doctored by these alien-UFO chasers.

CSM continued on, not even looking at her, "You were going to be used as a weapon against the aliens. When they invade this planet they release a "black oil" that will turn the human race into their slaves. You are immune to this. Unfortunately the very scientist that created you, hid you from us. We've been looking for you for the past twenty years." His smile was back.

Sandra didn't believe a single word that came out of his smoke filled mouth. She had feeling he knew it too, as he turned his attention to Krycek.

"I see you work just as well as with one arm," seeing Sandra's confusion, CSM clarified, "Alex had an unfortunate incident in a Russian forest and lost his left arm." CSM walked away to the phone to make a call.

Sandra absorbed the information she'd just heard, more specifically about her kidnapper. The idea of a weakness added to the layers she was determined to peel away. 

Two men suddenly burst through the doors, their appearance reeked of steroid use. They stomped towards her, grabbing her by each arm. A women in a white lab coat walked towards her, brandishing a large needle.

"What are you doing?" Krycek demanded, walking over to CSM.

"We need to run some tests, nothing that concerns you."

The needle jabbed painfully into her arm, causing the room to get hazy, then it started to spin. Her own screams and kicks dissipating as her vision did.

Seeing that she was unconscious, CSM turned his attention back to Krycek. "I suppose you would like your payment, " CSM said, not waiting for an answer. 

Krycek stood staring as they dragged her body away.

_Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while_

Chapter 4 

"This will be quite painless if you just stay calm and don't move," It was a women's voice speaking to her, though she couldn't see the face.

A door slammed and Sandra was sure she alone in what looked like an operating room. The room was cold, with a malevolence atmosphere she could taste in the air. Her wrists and ankles were tied to the table, though she doubted even if they weren't she would have the energy to move.

A sharp sound went off in the distance, a gun shot, then a yell and then another shot. She heard the door burst open and Alex Krycek's face appear above her.

"Do you think you can walk?" He asked while releasing her from her restraints.

"Would it not have been easier to not kidnap me in the first place, then trying to save me now?" Her voice had taken on a nice drunk tone.

"The I wouldn't have gotten my money," he said cheerfully, lifting her off the table with his good arm. 

"Oh, so your one of those guys," Sandra tried to stand but only succeeded in stumbling into Alex. He wrapped her arm around his shoulders and half dragged her to the door.

"Do you know how to fight?" He asked, scanning the outside hallway. 

"I do Tae Bo," she told him, as they rushed to the stairwell, "2" she added, as if it made a difference. She was still feeling rather drunk.

Alex somehow managed to pick her up and throw her over his shoulder, using his only arm and carried her down the stairs.

"My knight in shining..." she paused to look at him, "leather."

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Alex stopped to pear out the door, putting her back down on the floor but still supporting her body.

"We just need to make it through this hallway and we're out of here."

"Let me guess, is there snakes, two dragon's and a Sumo wrestler in that hallway?" She said sarcastically.

"It's empty."

"Famous last words."

Alex again, half dragged Sandra down the hallway. They were halfway there when two men came charging down around the corner.

Alex swiftly pulled out his gun and managed to wound on the men in the shoulder, before the gun was knocked to the ground.

Finally finding some abnormal strength, Sandra kicked the other man in the stomach. Her leg then hooked around his neck, holding him there for Alex to knock out with his fist. The shot man stumbled towards them, wrapping her arms around Alex's neck Sandra jumped kicked him right square in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"I thought you said you couldn't fight, " Alex stared at her on shock, his arm still supporting her.

"No, I said I did Tae Bo," she, herself was quite surprised by her own strength.

"Tae Bo taught you that?"

"That...and episodes of Kung Fu: The Legend Continues maybe?"

They heard footsteps coming from another hallway, coming towards them.

"Time to run," Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway and into the door at the end.

"Can you do me a favour?" Sandra asked, after the door was closed, "Catch me." With that she collapsed into his arm.

_This ain't real baby I've got a better excuse for myself_

Chapter 5

Sandra felt the same way she had after her four-day eighteenth birthday celebration. Everything was hazy, not to mention the metallic taste in her mouth and the pounding headache that she was sure was the result of someone taking a baseball bat to her head.

"Sleeping beauty awakes," a familiar male voice said to her.

Sandra heard a strange noise, which she later realized was her as she struggled to open her eyes and see who was talking to her.

"Here," the voice was finally paired up with a face, Alex Krycek's. He helped her sit and brought a glass of water to her lips.

After she was done drinking, she finally allowed herself to remember the events of past. "Dammit."

Alex laughed a bit, "So I'm assuming that you remember."

"I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone." She struggled to sit up, her headache and vision clearing.

He helped her sit back against some pillows, "Welcome to my world." His remained on her arm, seemingly unnoticed by him.

Alex gave her a small smile and walked out of the room. Only then did Sandra take stock of her surroundings. She was in a bedroom and judging from her experience, a guys room. The windows were covered with heavy navy drapes, so she couldn't see outside. Looking to where Alex had just gone into, she could see a small, neat kitchen and den with a black leather couch.

When she slowly got out of the bed, she found that she was only in her bra and underwear. Looking around she saw a robe and put it on. She could faintly smell Alex in it, which scared her a bit, the fact that she had already memorized his scent and secretly it made her feel a little faint.

Shaking her head, an attempt to rid herself of foolish teenage behaviour, she walked out into the kitchen, where Alex was, surprisingly, cooking eggs.

"And he cooks too. How is it you're still single?" She asked in mock surprise. "Oh, I know, you break into people's homes and kidnap them."

"What makes you think I'm single?" Alex countered but Sandra only rolled her eyes.

Normally people in her situation would be terrified, desperately trying to find a way to escape but the idea never even crossed her mind. She felt strangely comfortable here, more so than even in her own apartment. Whether that amounted to insanity or the remnants of the drugs injected into her the night before.

"Do want some breakfast?" He asked turning off the stove.

"No, offence but not entirely sure you wouldn't be trying to kill me." He gave her a lopsided grin. "Meanwhile, where are my clothes?" She motioned to the robe she had borrowed.

Alex stared at her for a moment, up till now he really hadn't gotten a chance to study her. She had short, chin length brown hair, which he usually wasn't a fan of but on her, he thought it looked quite good. 

Before he had actually kidnapped her, Alex had spent many days following her, getting her routine. She was tall but shorter than him, but he knew she routinely wore high heeled shoes, whether that was a fashion thing or power thing he wasn't sure. She barely wore much make-up and her clothes were practical and simple.

She was attractive and young but there was something else, something he couldn't describe with words. He felt some strange sort...connection, for lack of a better word, and it was driving him insane.

Sandra knew he was staring and she wasn't one to be intimated by that. It wasn't that it happened regularly or at all but maybe it was him that just couldn't intimidate her. She took advantage of the situation to consider him.

The most striking thing about him was his bright green eyes, yet they were spoiled by the pain she could see desperately hidden in them. He was wearing a black sweater and jeans and she could see his was in good shape. He was attractive but she wasn't about to admit that she was attracted to a total stranger.

He finally answered her question about her clothes, "They're in the bathroom," he motioned to a near-by door.

Sandra wanted to ask him, why exactly her clothes had been taken off but she didn't dare.

Alex saw the question in her eyes as she turned around and walked into the bathroom but he didn't answer it for her. He'd done it in quite a gentlemanly fashion, though it had been quite a struggle to keep his eyes from wandering.

As soon as she had closed the bathroom door, Alex let out the breath he had been holding. He was becoming way too emotional about this girl...about everything. He'd learned over the years to keep his emotions out of his work, which then had resulted in what he thought, him losing all emotion. He hadn't heard a breath from his conscious in a long time, and now it was yelling and screaming at him.

He'd been hired to kidnap her for CSM and he'd also been hired by The Resistors to kill her. His plan had been simple, bring her to CSM, collect the money, pull her out of there and then kill her. He'd already wasted too much time, he needed to concentrate and finish the job. 

He went over to his leather jacket and got his gun, then walking back over to the kitchen counter and leaned forward on it. 

He felt the same way he had the first time he had made a hit, it had been in a man's bathroom and the man's son had accidentally come in...his memory was interrupted by the door opening. 

Alex turned, holding the gun behind his back, his finger resting on the trigger. Sandra walked over to him, not noticing his intentions. She held a damp cloth, she stopped only inches away from him.

"I noticed you were bleeding," she said quietly, placing the cloth to the cut on his forehead. She was well aware of the change in the atmosphere, though she didn't know the root of it.

She removed the cloth to take a closer look, she touched his face, examining the cut. It must have been her imagination, but she could have sworn that when she touched the cut, it got smaller. Sandra pressed her finger to the cut again and this time she was sure it shrunk. She ran her finger slowly across the entire cut and saw it disappear before her very eyes.

She stepped away from him, a look of pure terror in her eyes but Alex interpreted as her seeing the gun.

"Will you run," the words flew out his mouth before connecting with his brain.

She kept her eyes on where his cut had been only seconds ago, "What?"

"If I asked you to run..." he paused, "...run with me, would you?"

Her mind cleared at his question and without thinking she answered, "Yes."

Alex shoved the gun into the back of his jeans, grabbed his jacket and her hand and fled.


	2. Chapter 6 to 10

Title: An Ode To Maybe

Author: Carla (moviebuff001)

Rating: Pg-13-Language, sexual content, violence

Category: The X-Files

Archiving: Sure, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Spoilers: Most Alex Krycek episodes and some of the mythology.

Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but he has a little trouble completing the job…

Time line: Season 7 after S.R. 819 but before Two Fathers.

Disclaimer: If I did own Alex Krycek, he'd still be alive. So, alas he belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. All quotes are from the Matthew Good Band.

Notes: Three things: 1) No matter how many times I watch the episodes, I don't think I will ever fully understand the X-Files mythology, so you'll have to use your "suspension of belief" and just go with the flow. 2) I once read this really good fanfic called "Crawling between Earth and Sky" and it's stuck in my head. So, some of the things in the story are kind of drawn from the story, I wasn't trying to copy or anything 3) I know Nick Lea is around the age of 40 but I made him a bit younger in this story for time lining. 

_Think fast and kill what you cannot change_

Chapter 6

James Haden had been expecting confirmation yesterday, at the latest this morning, it was now five in the afternoon and he hadn't heard anything at all.

Usually he knew things before leaders of top intelligence agencies knew, yet he had no information of a death that was supposed to happen almost a day ago, thus sparking his concern.

He'd already made the arrangements to go to New York City, where he knew Sandra Ames was living. He intended on making a visit to her apartment, her work and anywhere she regularly went to, though he doubted she'd be at any of those places. If Haden was right, Krycek had either sold her to the Consortium or someone else was helping her.

He would complete the job and then he'd take care of Alex Krycek.

_I feel like we're drinking and driving_

Chapter 7

Philipsburg, Pennsylvania

They had sold Sandra's SUV for a much older, beat up version, only to switch cars twice more after that. Alex had rented two rooms under the aliases Mathew Porter and Elizabeth Marks.

Alex wouldn't tell her where they were going or what they were going to do when they go there. Things like that caused her brain to distrust him even more but for reasons she couldn't understand she still found an irrational way to trust him.

She'd already dismissed the immediate healing of his cut, attributing it to lack of sleep or the drugs that had been put into her. Although, that didn't account for the still missing cut gone from Alex's forehead.

They may have had separate rooms, but Alex had given specific instructions to leave the adjourning door open. 

Alex was, to the untrained eye, asleep, though he was far from it. He'd managed to keep his mind busy until then, with the strange familiarity of running and hiding gave him. Alex had been running for most of his life, ever since he had lost his parents he'd made running a career.

He heard the shower go on in the adjacent room, concentrating hard not to allow his mind to wander in that direction. Instead, he fixed his concentration on surveying the room. He only briefly noticed when the shower turned off and Sandra walked into his room.

"If you don't feel like telling me what is going on, I'm going to sleep," she told him, her head held high.

He stared her for a long moment but although he was trying to intimidate her, she kept her eyes locked on his. Her eyes slowly drifted to his hand, though. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt but his left hand was not covered by its usual leather glove. And instead of human skin and muscle, there was a prosthetic made of plastic.

Alex saw the direction of her eyes and quickly moved the non-existent hand out of view.

Sandra's curiosity was piqued, unconsciously she moved towards him, her hand touching his left bicep. She felt the muscles tense as her hand slid down his arm until halfway between his shoulder and elbow. There, she could feel the prosthetic but she wasn't disgusted, strangely, it intrigued her.

Alex knew his arm was one of his weaknesses and usually he tried to hide it. He was ashamed of it, it disturbed him. It frightened him how much he didn't want her to see it, he didn't want her to look away in repulsion, the way everyone else did. Yet, as far as he could see, she never looked at him the same way everyone else did. He couldn't think of an explanation, maybe she had ulterior motives or was being used as a tool for someone else's motivation...

"How did it happen?" Her voice was soft, kind yet not a hint of pity.

When he met her eyes all doubts he had of her vanished, he wanted desperately to tell her everything. "Let's just say I wouldn't suggest walking alone in any Russian woods in the middle of the night." His generalized comment received a strange glance from Sandra but she didn't push further. 

Sandra moved her other hand up his good arm, feeling the large muscles that compensated for the other arm. Without thought, her hands slid across and down his chest, until she hit the bottom of his shirt. 

His better judgement told him not to, but when her hands slipped under his shirt, judgement and thought went right out the window. His own hand slowly came up her arm, cupping behind her neck. 

It was as if she had no control over her own body, all she could think of was him. She stepped closer to him, but it didn't seem to satisfy her so she pulled off his shirt and stood so close she could feel his breath heavy in her ear.

He tilted her head up to his and within seconds, his lips came crashing down hungrily on hers, kneading open her lips with his tongue. All consequences, guilt, doubt and thought vanished the second their lips connected. They collided with an animalistic passion, with neither conscious of anything but their own desire and need. They touched and felt with a clearness of muddy water, leaving their bodies to make decisions. 

_It's hard to get up and live it down_

Chapter 8

            Content: to the full extent of one's desire.

            That was what Alex felt. It was the first thought to hit his sleep indolent brain. Sadly, he couldn't even remember the last time he felt like this. Although his memory was lacking in the short-term, he believed it only to be a dream.

            Only when he felt something move on him did his memory come flooding back to whom that something was.

            Sandra was quietly asleep on his chest, her arm resting on his shoulder. His own arm was laid across her naked back. He ran his hand softly through her hair, allowing himself that one indulgence. As his eyes wondered to the left, he saw his prosthetic lying at the foot of the bed, remembering it had fallen off. 

He felt her move, but the movement was in a part of his body that didn't exist anymore. Following the direction of her other hand, he screamed.

Sandra bolted awake, her eyes full of fear, a thousand scenarios running through her mind. Her eyes finally locked on Alex, she'd never seen such fear before.

Alex was lost, he stared intently at something that wasn't supposed to be there. Thinking that if he concentrated hard enough, he would see it disappear again.

Sandra followed his stare, her eyes coming upon his arm. At first it didn't register, why would he be staring at his hand, then she remembered. Surprise won the war of her emotions.

Their eyes locked for several minutes, each looking for the confidence to speak. Sandra reached up to touch his arm. She felt skin, she felt muscles, she felt...him. 

"What the hell is going on?" He was so incredibly scared, he didn't like not being in control, not knowing something.

She was about to shake her head when she remembered what happened yesterday.

Alex saw the second she made the connection. She seemed suddenly uncomfortable as she pulled up a sheet to cover her bare chest. It was only then did he remember they were both naked, but it only fazed him for a second. The anger then set in.

"What do you know?"

She took a deep breath, not knowing how to explain. "Yesterday…you had a cut," she touched his forehead, "right here. When I touched it…" she paused for a long time, "…this sounds crazy but when I touched your cut, it disappeared."

Alex quietly contemplated the information she had given him, trying on his own to come to a conclusion, trying to make sense. He sat back, the sheet still covering him below the waist. The last two days were taking a toll on his usually calm existence. There was too much new information, too many different emotions. He tried to grasp things he knew for sure.  

"There are…people, who can heal people with their touch. I'm not sure whether they're alien or not but I wouldn't think it would be too big of a stretch to say what…you have, would be an alien characteristic. 

She tried not to shudder, "So you believe I'm this Alien-Human Hybrid thing?"

He wanted to touch her, wanted to protect her. She seemed so innocent in this convoluted world and he wanted so badly to take her away from it.

"I'm not sure about anything right now but let's just say that for arguments sake that, that's the source of all this."

"But I haven't been able to magically heal people, if I had, my life would be a lot better right now." Sandra tried to hide her tears as she thought of what might have been…

Despite the hurt look in her eyes, the gears in his brain were once again turning rapidly. "Something at the Consortium must have been a catalyst," he paused while he pulled on his boxers and jeans. "These alien characteristics were dormant until whatever it was, was injected into you."

"Alien _characteristic," she reminded him, pulling on her jeans and t-shirt. She snuck a sideways glance at Alex, he looked better than he looked the night before. "How do we get rid of it," she asked, changing her thought process._

Alex froze in his spot, then after a moment of staring at her, he pulled out his switch blade knife. He made a thin slice across his arm. Sandra instinctively covered the wound with her hands.

"You can save people."

She pulled back her hands, where blood once was, there was perfect, unbroken skin.

"I'm not naïve, I won't be helping anybody if someone finds out about this. I don't know why I was made but I will not be used as a government's tool." She shoved him out of the way to walk back to her room.

Chapter 9

            He lightly fingered the doorway, there had been no forced entry but he hadn't expected there to be. Although Haden wasn't a fan in any way of Alex Krycek, he could admit he did have a flare for his job.

            Haden walked around the apartment, it was small, with a kitchen, living room and a bedroom. It was cheaply furnished, with the exception of the king sized four poster bed.

            Looking through the mail, Haden only found bills and junk mail. No personal mail or postcards but Haden had already suspected that Sandra Ames didn't have anybody to give her any. The few pictures she had were all two years or older. The only message on her answering machine was from her boss at the bank, where she worked as a cashier, wondering where she was.

            She was a loner, but so was Alex Krycek. But as Alex was, Haden was starting to think that Sandra might be of some use too, alive, rather than dead.

Chapter 10

            "Time to go."

            Sandra stared at Alex in disbelief, "How long are we going to keep running?"

            "Until I say stop."

            "When was the last time you said that?"

            Alex paused for a second, then shook his head in frustration. He grabbed his coat and keys and he motioned for her to follow him out.

            After an hour of driving the off roads of Illinois in silence, Alex finally spoke, "I'm going to find a place to put you in until I can get you to Canada."

            "Why does it always seem that the only people that move to Canada are fugitives of something? It's a beautiful country, they have gun laws, less pollution, less crime…probably less kidnapping," she shot him a smirk. "I don't see why anybody would not want to move there." She saw Alex suppressing a grin at her rambling.

            Since silence was causing her to think, she asked, "If we are going to Canada, would it not have been easier to go north from New York, instead of going all this way west?"

            He looked at her for a second before turning his eyes back to the road, "If we had gone north we would end up in the Toronto or Montreal regions, which happen to be some of Canada's most major cities. Do you think that the Consortium and the Resistance wouldn't have ties up there?"

            "What's the Resistance?"

            _Shit, he'd slipped up. He never slipped up, __what was going on with him?_

            "They're just part of the Consortium," he tried to sound nonchalant.

            "No their not, you're lying," Sandra had no idea why she thought that but she was sure that he was lying.

            Alex tried to keep the anger out of his voice, "How the hell would you know who or who isn't part of the consortium?"

            "I don't," she took a deep breath, "I just know you're lying."

            He shot her a look of disbelief, "How do you know if I'm lying? You've known me three days. How do you not know that I haven't been lying this whole time and only now I'm telling the truth?" He was yelling now.

            "I don't know how I know, I just do. I can't explain, I just know." She was yelling too and tears of frustration and confusion were threatening to burst out. She took another deep breath and tried again, "What is the Resistance?" She lightly placed her hand on his arm.

            Bad idea.

            Alex slammed on the brakes and pulled over to the side of the deserted road. He got out, slamming the door behind him as he charged to her side of the car. A glint of light shot off the piece of metal in his hand. He yanked open her door and hauled her from the car.

            Dragging her into a field, he threw her down, cocking the gun as he pointed it at her head.

            Before any thought passed through her head, her foot was in the air, kicking the gun from his hand. Her other foot managed to kick him straight in the throat before he was able to grab a hold of it. He pulled on her leg, causing her head to smack the ground, leaving her vision blurry.

            She shoved her body forward with her arms, causing her knee to catch him in the chin. She jumped to her feet and started running as fast as she could, forcing herself not to look back. 

            Alex charged at her madly, knocking her to the ground. They rolled once and separated. Alex grabbed Sandra's hand before she could move again.

            His body pinned her to the ground, his hands pinning her arms above her head. Neither moved. Sandra could see his eyes boring into her, they were ruthless, there was no humanity in them. The tears that had been held up in her eyes started to fall, though she wasn't sure if they were for her or him.

            His hands were shaking, hell so was his whole body. Everything was more intense then anything he'd ever felt before. Fear was about to snap him like a twig, but what the fear was from, he wasn't sure. He was drowning, desperately clawing at his sanity.

            He couldn't even see Sandra, couldn't see anything. His vision had become blurry…no his vision had become blurry many years before but maybe it was only now that he saw it.

            He didn't feel his entire body collapse on Sandra, nor did he feel the rain that was suddenly pouring down on them. He didn't hear his own racked sobs and desperate breathing. He only felt arms wrap around his body and he only heard Sandra's voice, softly saying his name.

A/N: Thanks for reading, please review! I should be finishing the next section soon!


	3. Chapter 11 to 15

Title: An Ode To Maybe

Author: Carla (moviebuff001)

Rating: Pg-13-Language, sexual content, violence

Category: The X-Files

Archiving: Sure, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Spoilers: Most Alex Krycek episodes and some of the mythology.

Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but he has a little trouble completing the job…

Time line: Season 7 after S.R. 819 but before Two Fathers.

Disclaimer: If I did own Alex Krycek, he'd still be alive. So, alas he belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. All quotes are from the Matthew Good Band.

Notes: Three things: 1) No matter how many times I watch the episodes, I don't think I will ever fully understand the X-Files mythology, so you'll have to use your "suspension of belief" and just go with the flow. 2) I once read this really good fanfic called "Crawling between Earth and Sky" and it's stuck in my head. So, some of the things in the story are kind of drawn from the story, I wasn't trying to copy or anything 3) I know Nick Lea is around the age of 40 but I made him a bit younger in this story for time lining. 

Chapter 11

Wisconsin-Illinois border

            It had been her uncle's before he had died, his hiding place. She was the only one he had trusted his secret getaway to. It was small and far enough away from any road that no one could possibly notice its existence.

            Even though he had built it with his own hands, her uncle's log cabin was beautifully constructed. The one room and bathroom held a warmth she'd been missing for a long time. It was causing her to realize how much she missed her family, so she went back outside.

            The rain had stopped but the scent of it was still strong in the air as it clung to the trees surrounding the cabin. 

When Sandra went back to the car, Alex was still slumped over, asleep in the passenger seat.

Looking at him made her remember what had happened last night. Last night, it was the first time she had let herself think about it. The memory had been desperately pulling at her all day but she had refused to acknowledge it.

She knew they both hadn't been thinking clearly last night and what they had done had been in pure animalistic form. They were both fairly attractive people and it was just pure adult attraction resulting in mutually consulting sex, Sandra rationalized.

She was still unsure of what to make of Alex Krycek though. On the surface it seemed that in the past he been mislead, prompted to do bad things and he had blindly followed. But Sandra wasn't naïve, and neither was he. If anything, he was calculated with a distinct motive for every action he took. He may originally have been oblivious to the game but now he secretly ran it.

He stirred, reminding her of what she had come over to do. Sandra lightly brushed his arm with her fingertips but he didn't wake up. Her fingers moved to his face, her thumb outlining his lips.

At the touch, Alex opened his eyes, an indescribable emotion washing over him as he stared into her eyes. A lingering dream toyed with his brain as he gained consciousness. Images of Sandra, of them kissing, fast and hard, then slow and soft.

He mentally shook his head, freeing himself from the dream. Yet still, he found himself staring into the essence of his dream.

He felt almost a magnetic pull towards her, his lips aching to connect with hers. He could see it in her eyes that she wanted the same, he could practically feel her mental restraint.

Then the moment was over, the air changed back to normal and they both moved away from each other. Sandra walked back to the cabin with Alex slowly following, taking deep slow breaths.

Chapter 12

            It was raining again, the downfall smashing loudly against the roof. The rain was the only audible sound in the room, besides the occasional scrape of cutlery against a bowl.

            Sandra had managed to find a can of soup only months short of expiration, which they both managed to finish in under a minute.

            "So this was your Uncle's," Alex said, trying to start a conversation, "were you two close?"

            "Yeah, pretty close. My mom and he were always really close, so he was always around." Sandra said, pushing her bowl to the middle of the table.

            "When did he die?" Alex had thought it was an innocent question until he saw the look in Sandra's eyes.

            It took her a few moments to answer, "He died a couple of months before my parents." Realization then hit her, "They were all murdered…weren't they?"

            The look in her eyes made Alex want to reach out to her, to hold her. He nodded his head in confirmation, "I don't know who killed them though." He put his hand on her knee.

            Tears fell unknowingly down her cheeks. It was her fault they all died, if her parents hadn't adopted her, if they had never known her, they'd still be alive.

            "It's not your fault," Alex said, as if reading her mind. He crouched down in front of her chair, putting both hands on her knees. He wasn't used to comforting people but he couldn't stand seeing her upset. 

            Because she wanted to yell and scream that it wasn't fair, because she wanted to throw herself into Alex's arms, she turned her attention to something else.

            "Where's your family?"

            He never talked about his family, not in ten years. As far as anybody else knew he was alone and had always been that way. Maybe that was the reason he felt such a need to tell her.

            "My father was a Russian scientist and he was brought over during the height of the cold war to work for the American government. He met my mother here and they fell in love and got married. They had me and my sister Ana and everything was pretty normal until I was fourteen…" Alex got up and paced the small distance of the room, "…when my father was murdered in front of my mother and me."

            Alex sat back in his chair, as Sandra tried to think of something to say. She was starting to see why Alex had picked this road to live, whether it was right or not.

            He looked up at her for a second, and then continued, "My father had been doing top secret experiments for the U.S. government ever since he was brought over. One night, three men came to the door, asked if they could speak to my father. Then after few minutes…one shot him." He paused for a long time, fighting tears. 

            "The police declared it a robbery, although nothing was taken. They ignored all the evidence because the government told them to. It's the only explanation."

            Sandra stood and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him but he pulled away, walking to the other side of the room.

            "I've done things…I thought they were justified at the time, but now…" He ran a hand over his hair and walked back to Sandra, standing close. "I've killed people and even though it might have been warranted, I'm now starting to realize that doesn't matter. I have no right to play God."

            Because she didn't flinch away from him or look disturbed, he continued, "I've sat back and watched as other people have been killed, hurt, had terrible things done to them. Even when I was in a position to help, I didn't."

            Sandra finally spoke, "Why are you telling me all this?"

            "I want you to hate me, I want you to know what a bad person I am," he answered.

            "Why do you want me to hate you?" Sandra pressed.

            "Because!" He yelled at her.

            "Why?" She repeated, just as loud.

            Alex waited for a minute, then looked her straight in the eye, "Because I'm supposed to kill you," he said quietly and then walked outside.

            Sandra followed him out into the rain, without a second thought. She yelled after him, "I sort of figured that out, you know."

He slowly turned around to face her as she walked to him. "I'm not as stupid as I may look. I suspected you had other motives when you took me from CSM, especially after you pulled the gun on me today." She had to yell over the rain.

Alex almost smiled, a monkey would have probably figured out what he was doing. So that was why he didn't understand why she was still there.

"I don't care what you did in the past, that doesn't matter now. I can see that you're still a good person, though you probably have forgotten that. If I was smart I would run, I would get away from you. I have no idea why you've kept me around this long, which makes me think you have other intentions, you have some other reason to keep me around. I want to know why, but I don't trust you enough to ask you directly.

"I need you though, I don't know how to run and I don't really know what I'm running from. I need help and I want your word that you won't deceive me from here on."

Alex thought for a second, she had courage, "Will you believe me?"

Sandra smiled, "You know these past few days have been a little strange so I'm willing to go on a little faith here." She stuck out her hand.

"You have my word," he shook her hand.

Chapter 13

            "Can you please explain this whole 'alien conspiracy' to me?" Sandra asked, sitting down next to Alex on the only soft place to sit, the bed.

            "Believe me, its better if you don't know." Alex tried.

            Sandra looked him directly in the eye, "Since I'm a part of it, I think it _is better that I know."_

            Alex sighed, this was going to be a long night, he thought.

            "Alright, well you know about Roswell?" She nodded her head. "Well, it's true. Aliens really did land on earth, that was our first introduction to them. Later, in the seventies, the government found out that these aliens planned to kill all humans and colonize earth, which is what they've been doing all over the universe. They use a black oil, which is a virus, that is called "purity". That was when The Syndicate was formed so they could work with the alien colonists to form a race of human/alien hybrids immune to the black oil virus. That's you."

            Sandra thought for a second, "So, if I'm immune to this virus, then what will happen to me?"

            "I think you will become some sort of slave for the aliens." 

            Sandra was appalled, "A slave, I have a choice of dying or becoming a slave. Why aren't we fighting the aliens rather than working with them."

            Alex smiled at her, "Exactly. That's what I think. There is this other group of aliens called the Rebels, they've sealed their mouths, noses and eyes so they can't be infected with the black oil."

            Sandra stood up, "So if we worked with them…"

            Alex stood up too, "You don't want to work with them, they'll just kill you. But there is a group that was formed only a little while ago called the Resistance." Alex let her absorb that.

            "That's the thing you wouldn't tell me about. They hired you to kill me, didn't they?"

            Alex nodded his head and then after a few moments spoke again, "But I don't think that they see that you could be useful."

            Sandra didn't like the sound of that, "Useful how?"

            Alex considered for a bit, "Well we don't really know what you're fully capable of yet. I'm sure you have other 'abilities' other than healing people. Maybe one day we'll find out you can fly." Alex said jokingly.

            Sandra shook her head, "I am never flying." She then sat down on the other side of the bed and got in. Alex did the same.

            "Can you tell what I'm thinking?" Alex asked after a few seconds.

            "I'm not having sex with you."

            "Okay. That one doesn't count." Nick thought about the color red.

            "Yes, I do think you're an idiot, now good night."

Chapter 14

            Alex snapped open his eyes, but was careful not to move. A sound had woken him up and until he was sure of the source, he didn't want his presence known. He felt Sandra moving next to him, having also heard the noise. He gently placed his hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet.

            After scanning the room, Alex realized the noise was coming from the outside. They both had sat up halfway, when they saw a branch outside the window move and a dark figure cross in front.

            Alex made a gun shape with his fingers, silently asking where it was. Sandra thought for a second, weighing her decision. She had hidden the gun from Alex on purpose but then again, she'd rather he have it than them being unarmed. She pointed to under the sink and Alex, staying close to the floor, crept across the room the whole time keeping his eye on the door.

            They heard something step on the outside porch and slowly walk towards the door.

            Alex motioned for Sandra to come stand next to him behind the door. She did so just as she heard a knock on the door.

            Alex had put the chain bolt on the door before, so when he opened the door, it only opened a few inches and his gun was pointing straight out the space.

            On the other side of the door, they heard an elderly yelp and then someone falling down the two steps of the porch and landing in an "oomph."

            Sandra pushed Alex and his gun out of the way to look out the small crack. Outside, an old man, in his early eighties, was lying where he had fallen off the porch, looking so scared that Sandra thought he might cry.

            She quickly closed the door, unlatched the chain and threw the door open. She gave a glare to Alex before rushing outside to the man.

            "Sir, are you okay?" He mumbled something but Sandra didn't catch it. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to scare you," she looked at Alex, "we thought you were an intruder."

            Alex came over to help the man up and the man managed to stutter out some words, "I…I own the farm…next door."

            Alex helped him up the stairs and into the cabin, where Sandra had already turned on the lights and grabbed a chair and a glass of water for him.

            As he slowly sat down and sipped on the water, the color in his face began to return. "I saw the car outside, nobody's supposed to be here, so I thought maybe you were criminals…or something." He looked away from them.

            Sandra smiled, "This is my uncle's cabin, you must be Mr. Pass."

            He smiled, "You're Danny's niece?" She nodded, then she motioned to Alex, "This is my…fiancé Alex." Alex smiled back.

Mr. Pass smiled apologetically at them, "Oh, I'm sorry." He got up from his chair and walked towards the door. Then he paused, "You two wouldn't happen to be in any trouble with the law would you?"

Alex and Sandra stole a glance at each other, then smiled brightly and Sandra said, "Not really."

"Oh," Mr. Pass opened the door, then paused again, "You wouldn't happen to have one of those 'hit men' after you?" 

Alex's eyes open wide for a moment, then he walked towards the older man, "Mr. Pass, would you like me to walk you home?"

The man smiled, getting the hint, "No thank you, have a good night," and left.

Sandra looked over to Alex once he was gone, "I'm surprised you didn't shoot him."

Alex glared her down, "I'm surprised you didn't tell him you were part alien." Then, he turned and went back to bed.

Chapter 15

            Alex Krycek had, for most of his life, taken his job as his life. Then again, in his line of work, you couldn't simply clock out at 5 and go pick up the kids from dance class. He ran his life by a set of rules dictated by his job: no relationships; no trust; no pity and that the end always justified the means.

            As Alex sat across from the bed, looking at Sandra, who was still asleep, he started to think about life a little differently. All the principles he had lived by for the past ten or fifteen years, were, since meeting Sandra, seeming incredibly barbaric. 

            Did the end really justify the means? Or is the point lost if we neglect and abuse the object we are trying to preserve?

            Alex rubbed his hands over his face, he had been doing _way too much self-analyzing, no thanks to that sleeping form over there. Alex smiled despite himself, she was the cutest thing he thought he had ever seen. She was wearing a blue tank top that she'd had on for the past four days, along with a pair of tight black pants, hidden under the sheets. She had a white blouse but it was thrown over the bedside table._

            She probably wasn't used to having to wear the same clothes for days straight but as he looked down at himself, he saw he wasn't doing all that much better. 

            Alex got an idea and crept over to where the blouse was and checked the size and then he moved to her pants. This was a little harder. When he pulled back the blankets to look at pants, he found she wasn't even wearing them. She was only in pale blue panties. 

            Technically he had seen her naked but he hadn't really been in a 'looking' mood, now he was. He couldn't tear his eyes off her, even though he knew that if she caught him looking at her, she would slam his head into the wall. Or maybe not?

            Alex moved away, distracting himself from thinking about what _could happen, and looked for the pants. They were tucked under the bed and Alex quickly got the size and got out of there._

A/N: Thanks for reading, please respond!


	4. Chapter 16 to 20

Title: An Ode To Maybe

Author: Carla (moviebuff001)

Rating: Pg-13-Language, sexual content, violence

Category: The X-Files

Archiving: Sure, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Spoilers: Most Alex Krycek episodes and some of the mythology.

Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but he has a little trouble completing the job…

Time line: Season 7 after S.R. 819 but before Two Fathers.

Disclaimer: If I did own Alex Krycek, he'd still be alive. So, alas he belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. All quotes are from the Matthew Good Band.

Notes: Three things: 1) No matter how many times I watch the episodes, I don't think I will ever fully understand the X-Files mythology, so you'll have to use your "suspension of belief" and just go with the flow. 2) I once read this really good fanfic called "Crawling between Earth and Sky" and it's stuck in my head. So, some of the things in the story are kind of drawn from the story, I wasn't trying to copy or anything 3) I know Nick Lea is around the age of 40 but I made him a bit younger in this story for time lining. 

Chapter 16

            Sandra woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs, which Alex was bent over, deep in concentration. This would be the second time he cooked them breakfast, except this time she was planning on actually eating it.

            Sandra got dressed and walked over to where Alex was, which was when she saw the shopping bags.

            "What's all this?"

            Alex had been concentrating on cooking and hadn't even heard Sandra get up. He turned and faced her, "Well, for one thing, we were out of food, which is an essential element in living," he took the food over to the table. "And second, we've been wearing the same clothes for the past four days. I thought you might like a change."

            Sandra stared at him for a moment before throwing her arms around him and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She pulled back a bit, still keeping her arms around him, "Thank you so much," she absently kissed him on the mouth. As she looked at his eyes, she knew he wasn't trying to impress her or anything, he was just doing what he thought was needed. It just happened to be really sweet. She hugged him again, her faith in him growing more.

            "You know the food's going to get cold," Alex wasn't comfortable with all the thanks he was getting, it wasn't something he was used to.

            They ate in silence, both stealing glances at the other. Finally, while cleaning up the dishes, Alex spoke. "We're leaving today."

            Sandra stared at him, it wasn't that she thought that they were going to stay here forever, but she thought they would stay for a few days at least.

            "But it's safe here, nobody knows we're here."

            Alex looked at her, she was being naïve of course, but he understood her want to stay here. It was something familiar, a place that reminded her of her family. He completely understood that, what he wouldn't do to be reminded of what his family was like and not just some distant memory.

            "Listen," his voice was sympathetic. "We have to keep moving until we get to Canada. Even if we're being incredibly careful, there's always somebody who can and will find us."

            Sandra nodded her head and went to have a shower before they left. As the water ran over her head, she couldn't have been farther away. A piece of her dream kept playing over and over in her head:

            Sandra lay awake in her bed, staring at the ceiling, counting the endless dots that ran in a chaotic pattern. She feels something pass over her arm, causing the hair on her arms to stand up. She turns her head to see Alex looking at her, then he kisses her, rolling her on top of him. They rip off each others clothes, almost without breaking contact. Before either knows what is happening, they plunge deep into each other and…

            Sandra shook her head and took a deep breath, she studied her surroundings. She was still in the bathroom, in the shower.

            The more she thought of that dream, the stronger it got, she literally had to hold herself up or else she was afraid that her knees might go. She looked out at the door, secretly hoping Alex would come through and…

            She banged her fist against the shower wall, 'I must have a death wish,' she said to herself, turning the water to cold.

Chapter 17    

            He hadn't slept for the past three days, but Hayden was hardly feeling it.

            He was so impressed with himself and his team, they had managed, but barely, to get back on the track of Krycek and Ames. They had lost them after finding their car ditched but fortunately, he had enough man power to do a several state search. 

            Hayden had found out that they had stayed in a hotel in Philipsburg but had only stayed there one night. And, contrary to what most people thought, they were going west not north, as that was where the Consortium was looking for them.

            Now, they could have been stuck, only knowing that they were going west but not knowing exactly where they were. Luckily, the SUV they had been driving had been spotted in Illinois, heading north. They also had dug up a property that Sandra Ames uncle had owned. That, in particular, had not been easy to find. A contact of Hayden's had worked in a town nearby his property and remembered the name.

            Hayden got out of his Dodge Stealth, one of his most prized possessions and looked at the cottage. He traveled alone and had only told people tiny details that they needed to know to do their job. Nobody knew where he was and he preferred it that way. He wanted to handle this on his own.

            Hayden saw the tire tracks still indented into the mud because of last night's storm. That was his confirmation; he knew exactly where they would go now.

            Hayden was positive that they were trying to get Sandra Ames to Canada, he knew Krycek wouldn't pick a huge city but he'd also not want her to be in a small town, where people could remember her.

            He was guessing that someplace in Alberta would probably fit that description, either Calgary or Edmonton. They were modern cities but they weren't any of Canada's main cities, a much easier place to hide her.

            Hayden also knew that in order for her to get into Canada, she needed papers, passport, etc. Krycek had a contact in Minneapolis that could do that. Haden knew that because he, himself used the same guy.

            Hayden got back into his car, turned up his CD player and happily tapped the wheel to the beat of Weezer's "Keep Fishin".

Chapter 18 

            "Please enjoy your stay at the Hilton."

            "Thanks," Alex said to the man at the front desk, before turning to Sandra. 

            "I have to go meet that contact of mine," he gave her the room key. "I shouldn't be any longer than an hour.

            Sandra nodded and then whispered into his ear, "Where are you getting all this money?"

            Alex smiled and whispered back, "I have several different bank accounts and more aliases then Sydney Bristow."

            "Ohhhh." Sandra watched him walk away until he was out of her sight and then she got into the elevator.

            "Hold the door," a brown haired young man told her, as he sped to the elevator. "Thanks."

            Sandra smiled politely at him, he was about her age, clad in dark jeans, a black t-shirt and skater shoes. Contradictory to his clothes, he had an air of professionalism and he kind of reminded her of Alex. The way he stood in the corner, trying to make himself as invisible as possible. The way, as soon as he got into the elevator, he subtly surveyed the elevator…and her.

            "So are you staying at the hotel?" He asked her, to her surprise.

            She turned back to him, "Yes, you?"

            He grinned her, "No, I'm just here on business. I'm Eric." He was only half lying.

            "Elizabeth," Alex had given her that alias to use while they were at the hotel.

            Before they could say anymore, the doors opened to her floor, "I get off here," she told him.

            "What a coincidence," he smiled and walked out of the elevator, "So do I."

            Before she knew what was happening, he grabbed her around the waist and covered her mouth. Both of her arms were pinned to her body and no matter how hard she kicked and shoved, she couldn't get away. 

            The hallway was deserted and she really didn't want to bring any attention to herself anyways by screaming.

            "You know Sandra, you're lucky I'm on your side, otherwise you'd be in big trouble." He breathed heavily into her ear, reminding her of her last kidnapping experience.

            He pushed her against the wall, his hand holding both of hers up above her head but left his other hand over her mouth. His foot was firmly covering both of hers, so she couldn't kick.

            "Now, which room would you be occupying?" He slowly lifted his hand off her mouth.

             "Fuck you," she yelled harshly.

            "So I guess we'll have to do this the less fun way," he pulled out a roll of duct tape. "A handyman's best friend," he taped her mouth shut. Then he put his hand in her pocket and pulled out the room key.

            "Now that wasn't too hard," Sandra glared at him, she wanted to hurt him so bad. 

He pulled her towards the room and once in, he handcuffed her to a chair. "So we really haven't been properly introduced," he pulled another chair in front of her and sat down. " My name is Hayden."

Sandra's foot kicked out, knocking Hayden and his chair, back onto the floor

"I don't care about pleasantries; just tell me what you want!" 

Hayden rubbed the back of his head were he'd hit it on the floor, then he noticed the piece of duck tape lying on the floor. 

"When you blow on the tape, the condensation and heat will loosen the adhesive." She explained. "No tell me what you want!" She yelled again.

Hayden gave her his best innocent face, "I thought we had something going back there in the elevator. And here I was thinking you were screwing Alex Krycek."

Sandra's foot narrowly missed his head.

Hayden stood up, "Violent aren't we." She glared at him, until he continued, "I work for the Resistance, the goal of the group is to fight the upcoming alien invasion."

"And to kill me," Sandra said flatly

"Well originally, that's true, but I think you could be of much better use to us alive," he paused, when she didn't respond he went on. "We need to find an alien weakness. All I need is some cells and some blood."

"So you want to use me as your guinea pig?"

"Don't you understand, you could help save billions of people, you are this world's last hope."

Sandra pondered this for awhile, the thought had crossed her mind. Especially with her instant healing ability, she could do so much more for this wor-

"Do you bleed green?" Hayden asked, pulling out a syringe.

Sandra stared at him for several seconds, "What?! No…not to my knowledge."

Hayden pulled a small mask out of his coat, "Jesus, do you have a Mary Poppins bag in there?" She asked.

Hayden smiled mockingly and put the mask over his face, covering it. He then took out a small scalpel.

Even at the time Sandra thought she had definitely lost her mind, as she did not, at all, trust this guy. But curiosity killed the cat…

Just as the blade was about to cut her, the door opened and Alex walked in.

It took less than a millisecond for Alex to act, knocking Hayden down, sending the scalpel across the room. His forearm pressed painfully across Hayden's neck, "Hayden what the hell are you doing here?!" Alex was enraged with anger.

Hayden pointed to where Alex's arm was cutting off his air supply and Alex relaxed a bit. "See, now I'm a little bit confused," Hayden's voice was taking on its mocking tone again. "See because I thought you were supposed to do away with a little problem of ours."

Alex voice dropped to a harsh whisper, "And what were you planning on doing, slicing her up with a scalpel?"

Hayden smiled and easily got up and walked to the door, "I'll let you two chat that one out." He threw the handcuff keys at Alex, along with a small cell phone. "I'll give you guys a call a little later to see about your decision."

Alex let him leave and waited for a few seconds before he started undoing Sandra's handcuffs. "Are you alright?"

Sandra nodded and stood up, "He wants me to help the Resistance."

Alex was hardly listening, "Why were you going to let him cut you?" He looked hurt.

Sandra couldn't help but wonder if he was a bit jealous, "Why did he ask me if I bled green?"

Alex sighed, suddenly his anger towards her dissipated, "Aliens bleed green, and their blood is toxic to humans."

"I'm half alien," Like he needed to be reminded.

"Apparently, the one alien-human hybrid they've been successful at, besides you, bled green."

Thinking about it, Sandra wondered how she had stayed so calm over the last couple of days. Then it hit her, she was in complete denial, she might as well be in Disneyland, cause as far as her mind knew, this was all but a dream. If she knew for sure, if she actually saw physical proof, it might make her face reality.

She took the mask Hayden had left, and put it over Alex's face, then she took the scalpel and slowly sliced a thin red line across her index finger.

They looked up at each other and smiled when they saw the thin red line. When they looked down again, it had already healed.

Alex ripped off the mask and took Sandra's face in his hands. "Maybe…maybe this means you're not an alien." For some reason, he was desperately hoping that to be true.

"So maybe what they gave me just gave me this healing power and the fighting ability?" She wasn't so sure.

Alex wasn't convinced either, "Well, maybe your DNA isn't half alien, half human. Maybe the scientist who helped create you, didn't do what he'd said he'd done. And that's why he hid you. That would also explain why they've had such a problem trying to make a human-alien hybrid."

The thought of being an alien was still, well…alien to her, but the idea was starting to sink in a little bit.

"I know someone who can help us out with this, once we get to Canada."

Sandra was partly hoping that time would never come, something about ignorance appealed to her.  

Chapter 19

            As the chair spun around for the umpteenth time, Alex sat on the bed, half flipping through channels, half watching Sandra and her endless chair spinning. He looked at his watch: 5:00, they still had all night before Alex could pick up the ID's the next morning. He looked back at Sandra, she'd been uncharacteristically quiet since the 'incident'. He had this feeling that it was all starting to sink in, though it had taken her long enough. From his experience, if you held something in long enough, eventually a dam was going to break, or, in his sister's case, it was usually a lamp.

            "You, ah, are you okay?" Whenever his sister had gotten upset he usually left room, he wished for that practice now.

            Sandra kept spinning around, caught up in her own thoughts, in her own world. She didn't even realize Alex was talking to her until he grabbed the arms of her chair and stopped her spinning.  

            "Sandra!" He practically yelled in her face.

            She shook her head and glared at him, "What?"

            "Are you alright?" Alex could barely keep the amusement out of his voice. Her face was priceless, she was the cutest thing Alex had ever seen.

            "What the hell are smiling at?" She said flatly.

            Alex shook his head at her, "Nothing." His face sobered, "But seriously, is everything alright?"

            Sandra stared at him as if he was an idiot, "What do you think. I'm a freaking alien!" She screamed, not really at him but just because she needed to.

            She stood up and started pacing around the room, Alex just stood patiently by and waited.

            "Everything's changed, any plans I had for my life are now meaningless. I never asked for any of this, I was fine with where I was before." She was almost in tears.

            "Were you happy?" Alex was curious as to what her life was like before.

            Sandra shook her head, "but at least I had a choice before you came and took away my life." She was yelling, "What gives you the right to decide someone's fate? Why do you get to play God?"

            He knew he had to just take it, that she was upset and that if he started yelling back it would just make things worse. But, he did have to explain to her some things.

            "Listen to me, if I hadn't kidnapped you, someone else would have and I can guarantee you wouldn't be alive anymore."

            "What makes you think that I want to be alive?" 

            It made Alex ill, the thought of her dying was bad enough but her wanting to die…"Sandra, sometimes we are given things, they may be gifts or burdens and it is up to that person to decide which is which. Do you have any idea what a gift this healing power is?"

            Sandra sat down on the bed, she was being selfish, she realized but she wasn't about to run off to a hospital and heal anybody yet. "What if…what if when I heal someone, their wounds may heal but I've given them something else. Something deadly?"

            Alex sat close to her and her hand, it was a seemingly natural motion to Alex but yet it was a completely new to him. "Why do you think that? I haven't been effected."

            "Yet. We have no idea, why I was created."

            Alex shook his head, "Do you think the government created you to kill humans, the very thing they are trying to save."

            "Maybe they didn't intend to. The aliens were the ones who told them how to create me, what if they put something in the design?" Sandra ran her hands over her face, "I don't know if I can do this."

            Alex turned her to face him, "I'll help you, I promise I won't leave." That was a promise he intended on keeping. "So why not, for tonight, we just forget about this and we go see a movie?"

            Sandra smiled a bit, "We can't see a movie."

            "Why not, aliens can go to movies and they have to eat too." Alex went towards the door.

            Sandra rolled her eyes and shook her head but followed him anyways.

            On their way out, Alex dropped an envelope containing Hayden's cell phone on the desk with some cash, "Could you mail this for me," he asked the man at the front desk.

            "Absolutely, to what country sir?"

            "China." 

Chapter 20

Red Lake, Ontario, Canada

            Hayden walked into the darkened room, he could see a figure sitting in the corner. He respected the man's insistence of privacy and kept his distance.

            "You have information of Sandra Ames?"

            He heard a sigh and then in low, cracked voice, "If you are talking about the alien-human hybrid we created then yes."

            Hayden sat in a chair, near the door, where the man could see him clearly but Hayden could not the man. "Go ahead."

            "Twenty years ago, our government was given a 'design' and they were told this was essential in preserving some of this world when colonization happens. My colleague and I were hired to 'build' this alien-human hybrid that was supposed to be an ambassador for the humans to the aliens. An alien specimen was injected into a women and within only 3-4 months, the baby would be born."

            "Who were the surrogate mothers?"

            "We were told they were volunteers, but they were abductees. These women later thought they had been abducted by aliens, but it was really their own government." His disgust was bluntly clear.

            Hayden was familiar with the abductions, he also remembered an FBI agent being one of these specimens.

            "We worked on the project for five years, hundreds of women, hundreds of babies. Some were stillborn, some were…strange," the man swallowed hard. "April 23, 1979 we finally had a success. A healthy, blue eyed, ten fingered, ten toed baby girl. She looked completely human. At first we weren't even sure that she was an alien-human hybrid. My colleague suggested that we keep her secret until we could prove we were successful."

            Hayden nodded for him to go but the man took awhile to speak again.

            "We had heard that alien blood, if exposed to humans, is deadly and that's why were so surprised when she was cut that her blood was red, not green. This brought up even more doubt in our success. That was when my colleague decided that it would be best to hide her, to put her up for adoption. He was able to do quickly and cleanly, he, himself didn't even know where the baby was."

            He paused for another long time, "Two days after she was gone, we discovered that we had forgotten something. A chemical that had been left out. This chemical was supposed to "turn on the alien characteristic. So we processed it and that's when we found out we had created a monster."

            Hayden leaned forward expectantly, he had, had a slight idea of all the other information before but this was different.

            "In this chemical…" he could barely choke out the words, "there were trace amounts of the black oil."

            Hayden sat in shock for several seconds, the black oil, an alien virus that was going to given to the earth as a part of colonization. This was to turn humans into alien slaves, several people had been infected with it as a test including…Alex Krycek.

            Hayden knew, as a fact, that Alex Krycek had no left arm from the bicep down but at the hotel, it was candidly obvious that his arm had somehow come back. So if Sandra healed him, then why wasn't he infected?"

            "Our government had no idea what the real reason was for this alien-human hybrid. I think the aliens plan to use her as a weapon."

            Hayden shook his head, in anger, "Why didn't you tell anyone. She could have been killed, she may have already infected someone."

            "There are purely selfish reasons and purely rational reasons: First, my colleague was killed only a week after our horrid discovery. He was murdered by our government, in front of his family. I have a family too, Mr. Hayden and they told me that they would make me watch as they tortured and killed my family."

            "Why your family and not your colleagues?"

            "Because he told them information, he told them about the catalyst about how that was the way to bring out the alien characteristics but he was interrupted and he was never able to tell them about the black oil. That's why we burned all of our notes and destroyed the catalyst. But they must have been able to get some information about this catalyst because, they have it now."

            So that's why they weren't successful in creating another human-alien hybrid until just a little while ago." The man nodded his head.

            "My colleague and I planned to leave and hide our families that night but they got to him first. The other reason that I haven't told anyone, is that I have no proof. I have tried but since we destroyed everything…" He sounded very tired.

            Hayden nodded his head, "Thank you for telling me now. Is there any way to counteract this catalyst? Do you remember any of the formula?"

             The man simply shook his head, "I thought they might never find her…"

Hayden stood up to leave, "Thank you." He was about to leave when he turned back, "What was your colleagues name?"

            "Nicholas Krycek."


	5. Chapter 21 to 23

Title: An Ode To Maybe

Author: Carla (moviebuff001)

Rating: Pg-13-Language, sexual content, violence

Category: The X-Files

Archiving: Sure, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Spoilers: Most Alex Krycek episodes and some of the mythology.

Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but he has a little trouble completing the job…

Time line: Season 7 after S.R. 819 but before Two Fathers.

Disclaimer: If I did own Alex Krycek, he'd still be alive. So, alas he belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. All quotes are from the Matthew Good Band.

Notes: Three things: 1) No matter how many times I watch the episodes, I don't think I will ever fully understand the X-Files mythology, so you'll have to use your "suspension of belief" and just go with the flow. 2) I once read this really good fanfic called "Crawling between Earth and Sky" and it's stuck in my head. So, some of the things in the story are kind of drawn from the story, I wasn't trying to copy or anything 3) I know Nick Lea is around the age of 40 but I made him a bit younger in this story for time lining. 

Chapter 21

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

            They drove hard all day and all throughout the night. When they finally arrived in Calgary it was 11:00 the next morning.

            "So this is where I'm going to live?" Sandra looked around at her surroundings

            Alex said nothing, but pulled into a parking lot and turned off the engine. "Are you sure you want a DNA test?"

            Sandra still really hadn't made up her mind yet but, putting it off wasn't going to help. 

She nodded.

They sat for a few minutes in silence, finally Alex spoke, "For most of my life, the only thing I cared about was me. I did terrible things that usually only benefited me. Life is so much easier when you are the only person you have to worry about. People are much safer if they aren't around me."

Sandra knew where he was going but waited for him to finish.

"But the only thing is, is that…you, "he stole a quick glance at her, "…you give me a reason to care about things other than myself. I thought…caring about someone else would make me weaker but you make me stronger." He finally looked up at her and held her gaze.

Alex placed his hands lightly on her cheeks, "But I don't want you to be in danger, so-"

Sandra interrupted him before he could continue, "Do you have any idea how badly I need you? I'm already in danger but all this is completely foreign to me. I don't know what I'm doing and I need your help."

Alex stared at the ground, "So you want me to protect you?" How could he ever expect her to want him for another reason?

            Sandra smiled, "Yes, but that isn't the only reason…I love you."

            If Alex had been standing he probably would have fallen, "I love you too."

            They kissed soft and long, both feeling a strength they never thought they could possess.

Chapter 22

            The stench of cigarette smoke was the most evident part of the room. The shadowy figure in the corner was one of the most powerful men in America, though he wasn't a dominant public figure.

            As James Hayden entered the barely lit room, he made a silent promise to himself to start meeting people in better lit rooms, this was starting to get ridiculous. 

            "Mr. Hayden, this is an interesting surprise, " smoke curled around the man's old face as he came into the light.

            As much as the Resistance was in opposition to The Consortium, Hayden felt he had no choice but to go to CSM.

            "I have information about Sandra Ames. A man who was part of her creation came to me and told me the whole story."

            CSM quietly pondered this, "He said he work on the project?"

            Hayden nodded, "He said he was Nicholas Krycek's partner."

            "Then he explained to you that Sandra Ames was to be used as a weapon for the aliens?"

            "So you know?"

            CSM smirked, "Of course we know, do you honestly think we would have given Miss. Ames the catalyst without doing our own tests. We found the black oil and we modified it. Sandra Ames is not a threat to us, in fact she is an asset."

            Hayden shook his head, "I'm confused."

            "Sandra Ames will be needed when the Invasion occurs but unfortunately she can only heal the black oil once it has been infected."

            Hayden considered this,  "So we need to keep her alive, to combat the Invasion." Hayden paused, "But, she won't be able to save everyone, if you let us have her, it's possible that we could find a cure before hand.

            CSM inhaled slowly and deeply on his cigarette and exhaled even more slowly. "Although I still think that you and your group are wasting your time. I see no harm in allowing you to use Sandra in your attempts. As long as you leave Alex Krycek in my hands."

            Hayden smiled, "It would be my pleasure," and turned to leave.

            "Mr. Hayden, just so you know, Nicholas Krycek worked alone, he didn't have a partner." 

Chapter 23

Disclosed government building, Outside Calgary

            "You understand I could get in a lot of trouble for this. I mean, we aren't even have supposed to have this knowledge."

            "Alex rolled his eyes at the man, "And we appreciate your help."

            Kent Matthews, was in his late thirties, with bright red hair and as skinny as a toothpick. He worked for the Canadian government, doing research and working with DNA. Most of the things at his job were highly classified and most of the time, the knowledge they had, wasn't made public.

            "You owe me big here," he told Alex.

            Alex raised his eyebrows, "Actually it's you who owes me big. If it weren't for me you'd probably be dead, let alone have this job."

            Kent wrapped a tourniquet around Sandra's arm, "He sure never forgets anything." He gave her his most charming smile, "So what are you doing hanging around this guy? You could do so much better."

            Alex grunted and sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the lab.

            Sandra smiled at Alex, "Well he has some redeeming qualities."

            Kent started drawing blood, "I'll bet you guys didn't get along when you first met."

            Alex smiled to himself, "Yeah, well she's got one of those attitudes."

            Kent finished up and put everything away," You mean she doesn't listen to everything you say? I have to take this downstairs, you're welcome to stay here and wait."

            Alex nodded and watched Kent leave, then he moved over to Sandra and sat on the edge of her chair.

            "I'm going away for awhile."

            "The hell you are."  
            

            Alex had expected her reaction, but he wasn't changing his mind. He handed her a piece of paper, "I have to go back to Washington, it's the only way to keep you safe." He motioned to the paper, "This is the address to the house I rented."

            Sandra stabbed daggers at him with her eyes, "Are you coming back?" She could barely hide her hurt.

            He kneeled in front of her, he never wanted to leave her, it would be so much easier just to stay here and hide. But that was the thing, he'd always done the easy thing, and she had taught him otherwise.

            "San, I'm not leaving you, ever. But if I don't fix some things, you'll…we'll have to run for the rest of our lives. And I don't want that for you."

            Her tone was rational, "Then let me come with you."

            Alex was about to argue with that when they heard someone clearing their throat.

            James Hayden, CSM and five other men, who one could assume were used to do bodily harm.

            Alex stood up, pulling out his gun and shoved himself in front of Sandra. Who, at the same time was trying to get in front of him. If someone was going to get shot, she had the more likely chance of living.

            "Alex, Miss. Ames," CSM nodded at them, "It's such a pleasure to see you again," he took a drag of his cigarette.

            Alex centered his gun on CSM, "When are you going to die, old man?"

            Hayden stepped forward, "We didn't come here to kill anyone, we aren't looking to pick a fight. The Resistance and The Consortium have come to an arrangement, Alex Krycek will go to The Consortium and Miss. Ames will come with me."

            Alex moved the gun to Hayden's head, "Over my dead body."

            Hayden grinned, "Gladly."

            Three men charged forwards and grabbed Alex, dragging him away. The other two men, restrained Sandra, who was fighting vehemently.

            CSM nodded to the three men carrying Alex and they took him out of the room but just before he was taken away, he mouthed, "I love you," to Sandra and was gone.

            Sandra let out a sob despite trying to hold it back, she was still trying everything she could think of get away from the men but nothing was working.

            CSM smiled at Sandra as if she were some pathetic bug that was about to be squished. He then followed the other men out of the room, the other two men followed him, leaving Hayden alone with Sandra.

            As soon as the men released her, she ran after them, only to have a door slammed in her face. It was locked but she banged on the door with her fist and then her body until Hayden grabbed her and pulled her away.

            "Sandra, calm down." He instructed her, still holding her firmly.

            Sandra had lapsed into silence, tears still tearing down her face. Hayden set her down on the ground and she turned, glaring at him.

            "What is going on?"

            Hayden took a second before he answered, picking up Alex's gun that was laying only a few feet away. "What I have to do." He aimed the gun at her head and pulled the trigger.

            Alex heard the shot from the other room, "NO!" He screamed, as the men dropped him to the ground, leaving CSM standing over him.

            "What are you doing you son of a bitch, why did you kill her?" His voice was shaking.

            Although his face stayed the same, inside CSM was in a complete panic. He'd been deceived, The Resistance wanted Sandra Ames dead and they'd pay for that. But he wasn't too shaken, this was not by far the end.

            CSM smirked, "It's not what I did, my Alex, The Resistence is responsible for that. But I have other business to attend to, concerning you. I see you have regained the use of your arm, very interesting indeed." He motioned to a man standing behind him, who was holding a small saw. "But, I'm afraid, I liked you when you were weaker."

            The man with the saw came in closer, "Just remember Alex, who you belong to." CSM turned and walked away.

            "What the HELL?!" Sandra yelled.

            Hayden lowered his gun, "Sandra, you've been used, Alex Krycek doesn't care about you, he just wanted what you could give him. It's better that he thinks your dead," Hayden looked at the floor, "It's better if they _all think you're dead."_

            Sandra stared at him in confusion, what was he doing.

            "Go," he yelled at her.

            Leaving was the last thing on Sandra's mind, she was going to find Alex but when she saw the look in Hayden's eyes, she left. 

            But this was far from over.

                                                            The End

[A/N: Well that's all…for now. Of course there is going to be more, plenty more. Just remember to review.]


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